By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize