can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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