High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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