when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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