She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize