if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize