i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize