I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize