So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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