why didn't you poke me back
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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