hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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