I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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