If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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