she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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