I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need moral support for this bender
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize