she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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