Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize