i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
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