you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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