you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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