i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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