i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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