woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize