Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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