Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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