she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize