Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My balls are so social today.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize