You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think i have two assholes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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