Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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