do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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