So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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