just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize