Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
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Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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