i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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