margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize