I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize