i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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