I am in a vortex of obligation.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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