They should really pass out barf bags in church
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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