Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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