Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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