last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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