I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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