Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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