did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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