I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize