i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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