dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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