She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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