I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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